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Tuesday, February 15, 2011

Eric and JJ

Posted by iAMjett™ 9:49 PM, under , | No comments

While I was having my usual mid-day bath one dry afternoon, I was all ears listening to this AM radio advisory program "Kagahapon Lamang". That day's program episode caught me by surprise because the letter sender was a guy named Eric. What's more intriguing was the reason why he wrote, which's all about people thinking that he and his guy friend are having a homosexual affair.

The story goes like this:

JJ and Eric are alike in so many things, be it in their chosen profession. Eric is a registered CPA while JJ is pursuing accountancy in a sectarian college. Eric likes watching basketball, and JJ on the other hand, loves playing it.

Fate brought these two guys together. When Eric's company sponsored a basketball tourney, Eric spearheaded the officials. It so happened that JJ was close to the rest of the officials. Eric and JJ's proximity made things easy for them to get to know each other.

After the tournament, these guys became even closer. Their talks on the phone became more frequent.

For Eric, a day without JJ saying, "Enjoy your day and make the best of it" is terribly unfulfilled. JJ, too, is always eager to listen to Eric's words over the phone.

Lately, both of them also find extra time to see each other at the mall, bars and other places. They find delight in being together most of the time. But Eric cleared it out by saying that they don't neglect their responsibilities in work and school.

Another thing he made mention is, nothing unusual has ever happened and, in all honesty he said, both of them don't really dream or expect of anything deeper to transpire. Eric also reassured that their moral-spiritual values are still intact.

However, people are starting to speculate about them. At work, JJ's frequent calls for Eric are casting doubt on what kind of relationship they have.

In school, JJ's fellow varsity players are starting to tease him. Worst scenario is, JJ's once most intimate friend is making a big fuss on the matter.

Eric is bothered by these irrational speculations. They both know that no relationship has developed or will ever be. Eric said he trust , respect and love JJ as a friend and a younger brother, nothing more and nothing less. JJ is the only child of a business tycoon in the real estate. His dad is always abroad.

Does Eric need to tell people the real score? Does he owe them an explanation? JJ is one friend Eric cherishes so much. It hurts him to think they are being branded for something they haven't done or will ever do.

My personal thoughts:

I can only think of one reason a close companionship between an older male and a younger male could set tongues wagging and eyebrows rising; corruption of a minor.

When there is no sexual relationship between them, the older man is often simply labeled as a 'bad influence.' But when sex (as an activity or a goal) is involved—or is assumed to be involved—then corruption takes the color of homosexuality.

Eric is saying, of course, that no corruption or homosexual activity whatsoever is taking place between him and JJ, and Eric is hurting because people seem to think—even insist—there is.

Does Eric then owe them an explanation? He doesn't. Even if let's say he is truly having a sexual affair with JJ, I personally believe he is not obligated to justify himself to those narrow-minded and self-righteous people.

However, provided it's really true, no matter how and where we look at it, it will always appear to many that such is immoral and worth justifying for, especially with Eric's social status. What's more, if Eric has had a homosexual relationship in the past, such an explanation would likely not be believed. And if Eric doesn't have such a past, but people had pigeonholed him as gay, they could dismiss Eric's explanations and insist that "there is always a first time" and this one with JJ is it.

People based their conclusions on how Eric and JJ have been acting. Therefore, Eric should use their actions, too, to convince people to revise their conclusions. I personally believe limiting phone calls, both in frequency and duration, and trimming down their meet-ups are by far some fair resolve while many are still prying them. Eric may even consider all those as favors for a friend, but those who look at their relationship in a different light see them as gifts of courtship or tokens of endearment, or worse, as bribes or tools of corruption. It would be nice, too, to see how JJ reacts to the absence of these favors, in case people think that he only sticks around Eric because of the material things he provides JJ.

Have I just laid down a prescription that will kill the friendship of Eric and JJ? I hope not. True friendship survives even within many restrictions. Eric and JJ can be close friends and do each other favors without raising suspicions that it's all a commercial transaction, a one-way corruption, or a mutual deception.



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From The Land Down South, Philippines
A homegrown Cagaya-anon at his best; a Cebu BPO yuppie for 4 years and is bound to explore all other possibilities. Jetro Augustus Cortez Ramao, better shortly known as Jett, is an enthusiast of many sorts. iAMjett.blogspot.com serves as his avenue to influence and be influenced; to inform and get informed. Hop in and take more notice of iAMjett's being a ..:: good hearted guy + sneakerologist + movie-philliac + has a thing for airports, runways and jet planes + loves to sleep + complicated + non conformist + misjudged and misunderstood at times + doesn't talk much, listens more + caring + sentimental + OC + independent + did i mention OC? + strong willed and persistent + irrational and disobedient at times + used to hate places that require one to dance + maybe i like smiling now...loves cheese but is anything but cheesy + goes for almost anything spicy + has a fluctuating body clock + fickle minded + sensitive + grumpy at times + considerate + practices "delaying gratification" : ::..

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